2008: The World We Lived In

Suicide bombings and suicide bombers, militants and world militaries, honor killings and honor killers, dictators and war lords their names are different but their roles by definition are common.

At the helm of 2008 is the innumerable destruction caused by each of the entities globally. Pakistan is a classic case study for anyone who wishes to understand the role of these man-made institutions (read: monsters). Each one of us in our lives has seen, read or dreadfully have fallen a victim to their acts. Each one of us has bled to gloom, shrieked with fear at the atrocities these man-made monsters committed openly throughout 2008. They have been active for decades now, but 2008 has been the year of these self-proclaimed saviors of honor/Islam/solidarity & freedom (acc. to their own definitions).

They are the modern day Mr. Hyde, an outcome of power struggles gone wrong and out of control. The Bush administration spent US$90 billion (by conservative estimates) on the War on Terror alone. To the people dying of starvation in Africa, Asia this figure alone could have saved lives, homes and more so given birth to new lives altogether. It is about channeling precious resources in the right direction at the end of the day.

It’s ironic that we debate and promote efficient use of resource in the face of deteriorating resources at global forums such as the defunct institutions such as UN, WTO, ASEAN, and so on but when it comes to practice we go back to deep rooted need of being the most powerful. Power for sure leads to vicious deeds – lessons of this reality are found in modern day history alone. But who is noticing.

As offense in the middle east continues to gain momentum, Gana elects a new President (amid Hopes and Fears), Sri Lanka vowes to cleanse the Tamil tigers, Pakistan-India continue to battle over who did what for the Mumbai bombings and more, the shaking of the earth goes practically unnoticed (my elders use to say earthquakes were a way of God jolting man to reality and telling him to take a note what harm he may be causing to people around him) – I wonder what kind of a future our world leaders are planning to paint for 2009 but more importantly at what cost?

Would the cost be the same as we have seen in the last decade?

1. More lives lost to war
2. Growing divide of the richest and the poor nations
3. Africa, a sinking continent
4. Race for nuclear weapons and investing in artilleries
5. Business investors loosing confidence in long-relied business firms/partners
6. Assassinations
7. Recession and job cuts
8. Oil prices
9. Water
10. Recurring viruses and plagues

Is it all that grim and gloomy - yes. There are good stories out there too. Hats off to the brave crusaders, peace activists, journos, leaders who continue to brave the darkest of weathers knowing they're outnumbered by the Mr. Hydes of our times.

I live in an era of "to each his own". Its time to go back to doing the right things, no matter how small. Even if each civilian today started out with doing the right thing which was as basic as being civil to the people they meet on the street - the world we live in can have a second chance...

Have we already reached a stage where we no longer feel for the unfortunate, less privileged, the weight WAR, bloodshed, human misery carries with it? Reminds one of a song by Johnny Cash. No matter how unrealistic it may sound to the advocates of prosperity, I feel this song paints our times aptly, where we have forgotten to feel altogether because at the end most of us are trying to survive in a world of our own.

I wear this crown of thorns

Upon my liar's chair

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time

The feelings disappear

You are someone else

I am still right here

What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away

In the end

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

If I could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way

(Hurst - Johnny Cash)

For you a thousand times over!

It breaks your heart. Everytime you watch the conviction, the blind faith, and the bright note the heart-wrenching ending, it breaks your heart.

Kite Runner is a remarkable story, which uncovers a thousand tales never told of children forgotten and lost in war. It's easy for anyone to say that war torn countries like Afghanistan, Bosnia, Palestine, and many more have lost generations to war. The weight this statement carries alone is enormous only if one stops to think of the darker stories that happen behind the three lettered word W.A.R.

Six months ago, a Swiss research company had published man made calamities vs. natural calamities. The findings indicated that in 2007, man made calamities outnumbered natural calamities. Furthermore, casualities caused as a result of man made calamities were more than the later. It comes as no surprise that the calamity which topped the chart was WAR. Now that will be no real news for children who have grown up witnessing the battle of war and peace; power and corruption; hate and violence; fear and plain fear.

Kite Runner communicates the elements and demons of war that affect innocent lives. Lives which had so much more to give, cherish, and live for. And how it all comes crashing down in an environment of political turmoil. It bares out the consequences of war that pass on from one generation to the other. One of the moving messages was through a key character, Baba (Aga Sahib) who stands for his principles and is fearless to show it. Baba symbolised the progressive and enlightenend sons of the Land.

"There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft... When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. " (Baba to Amir Jan)

Another aspect in the Kite Runner is the the sacred bond of friendship between Amir Jan and Rahim Khan that is put to test time and again. But it leaves you crying and wondering why don't the good deserve wining over the bad?

However, Baba's message to the audience is a strong one. Live, fight and adapt while the tale of friendship that the plot of the movie revolves around makes one wonder the cost of chances hesitance or fate is high. It can cost one a lifetime. And yet, you still sit up and smile and yell for you...a thousand times over!

Excerpt: Looking Back

Of Life and Uncertainties
Author:Anonymous



Looking back all the time is healthy if you do not constantly carry remorse and regret. Looking ahead with promise or hope is healthy too. If you can not decide what your fate will be tomorrow, it holds promise. If you don't pretend that the mistakes you make today will surely lead to your death, then life is brighter and happier. There is still time to find out if the mistakes you make today will really be mistakes or just lessons you learned to understand yourself better.

Hold trust to your heart... Let your soul live its life lighter without punishing it constantly for not being better, slimmer, faster, brighter and sharper. Let it float and some times be impulsive so it has a chance to relish. Otherwise, it becomes a prisoner of your container.

Most important, read. Read a few lines, maybe a prescription, a comic strip or news on the net. Something that leaves your mind tick tocking about life outside your bedroom. Live it up. Tomorrow is in no one's control, specially not yours.

Chae ka Cup

Chae Ka Cup
[In English: Tea Cup]

A cup filled up to the brim with strong, black tea; a dash of milk, and no sugar. To be served while really hot. That’s how he liked his tea. My grand mother or my mother use to make and give my father his morning tea till my siblings and I were old enough to play as the substitutes. This was a classic morning ritual in our household.

My father’s prized asset was the antique Victorian tea-cup he bought to enrich his daily ritual. The tea cup was a standalone piece that later came to be known as “Abbu kee chae ka cup” or sometimes just “Abbu ka cup”. It was a cream-colored tea cup that had hand painted golden pattern all over with multi-colored motifs on each side.

‘Chae ka cup’ had no substitute. Every time my father was served tea, it would be in his ‘Chae ka cup’; with guests around or during his trips to the hospital, Chae ka cup went everywhere with my father. The only time it was left behind when he would travel outside the city for fear of damaging it.

‘Chae ka cup’ was given a special place in our kitchen. It was placed at the top shelf next to the tea pot. While all other tea cups remained concealed behind blue colored aluminum cabinets, ‘Chae ka cup’ enjoyed high visibility and high accessibility over its peers.

My mother never fussed about my father’s preferences for antiques nor the tea ritual that had been in practice for over 3 decades. The only issue she fussed over was my father’s habit of taking too much tea. He loved his tea; 3 cups of tea was a pre-requisite to kick start his day. She gave up fussing the day she realized that the children in the family were marching into their father’s footsteps. Each child had to have their own tea-cup that later converted in to distinctive tea-MUGS, much to her dismay. All for one and one for all!

‘Chae ka cup’ has been moved to a more premium visibility but low accessibility location now. It sits behind a thick glass wall, next to its more colorful, baby-boomer cousins, Noritek, inside an antique cupboard. The cupboard and the ‘chae ka cup’ seem to complement each other well. Both have served their owners well and have loved the attention during the heydays.

An occasional glance at ‘Chae ka cup’ rings a familiar sound in my head and it leaves me smiling. ‘Chae ka cup’ has earned that special place. It’s a place which is irreplaceable and makes it an asset of memorable values.

Here is to the smaller rituals of people you loved and wished would never go,
The small rituals which leave there first impressions,
which grow on you as you get to know the person behind the rituals.
The small rituals you’re remembered for among your dear ones
and that make a person.
The small rituals, which are passed on,
Remembered and missed the most when you are no longer around.

KD
Forever loved-Forever missed
(June 22,1944-Oct 10,2005)



Author’s Note: This is neither an ode to tea-drinkers nor to tea cups, tea or anything related to tea. This is an ode to my father as I mark the 3rd year of his departure to a ‘better place’.

It’s an ode to one of his everyday rituals. There were too many but all rituals cannot be recorded in a post owing to:
(a) Low reader interest in subjects of personal nature
(b) Emotional clutter
(c) Poor memory
(d) All of the above

Of Bumper Stickers and Life's Puzzling Answers

' Naseeboon Wali', painted in yellow right behind a noicy rickshaw was a gentle reminder for me that I was indeed a lucky person not to be travelling in one. Funny but true, I have a history with bumper stickers and billboard signs. They talk to me.

The thought first occupied some shelpfspace in my mind during one of my bouts with depression back in 2006. While driving back, my eyes got stuck to a billboard sign, I recall blogging it on my deactivated blog as my readers gasped saying I had lost my mind. Depression does funny things to you, and in my case this was literally funny. It was something on believing I think, but it had made a home run with me at that point.

In came the donkey cart with a bumper sticker on it that read, 'Managing Director'. It came at a time, while I was come back after one of the many ad. agency meeting and thinking why am I doing this? In one of the many early morning rides to work, the eternal motvating one liner written behind a rickshaw was, 'Mein bara ho kar truck bunoon ga' (I will grow up to be a truck). Some motivation that proved to be. Talk about inspirational analogies.

Truth of the matter is I've stopped reading management literature on Motivation, Learning, Growing and Life. I have excess of these one liners that make me sit up and think and relate too. It comes easy, readily and makes sense. After all this time, I'm learning that creative thinking or creativity for that matter does not come easy. Neither does it come inside air conditioned offices or off-site meeting rooms. Its out there and hits you when you least expect it. I'm finding some of life's difficult answers that way. The good thing is no matter what the truth, it leaves me smiling.

Next time while you're on the road, look for your signs. Not up at the sky stupid! Right behind rickshaws, billboard hoardings, and other similar bumper stickers. Like the saying goes, "the medium is the message" :-)

61

We've hit 61, we're still surviving.

From being labelled to the most dangerous state in the World to a failed state to a great country but a horrible nation, we've heard it all. We're still standing.

Our music has progressed too. At 61, as anthems blared out of every radio and television set talking about unity, hope and prosperity Shehzad Roy's musical satirical stood out from the rest. The effort on part of Roy stands much appreciated. Atleast someone decided to speak out and paint it right. Next came in the initiative on 'Ye Hum Nahee'. Various artisits joined forces to communicate a more neutral Pakistan through music and a single song has led to the creation of an anti-terrorism foundation. At 61, we're struggling with the brand image of Pakistan.

This year average Pakistani households continued to demonstrate their patriotism by raising the Green flag on their balconies, rooftops, cars, etc. The Government, like every year, declared it a public holiday to give the working class a break from their taxing work routines. At 61 the only thing that is readily available in Pakistan are public holidays and human lives. Both are inexpensive and in excess.

Life expectancy in Pakistan is 62 years. At 61, the land itself is still standing at the cross roads. Cartoonists sketch the state as an ailing figurehead gasping for oxygen in an ICU. Our leaders are still arguing, our economists are panicking, inflation remains the hot topic other than ofcourse Musharraf these days. Our thoughts - jinxed!

Oddly enough two decades ago, I would often hear the older talk about partition. How gruesome it was, how they wish it had not happened or how things would take shape in Pakistan in the future. I always thought that would never be the case. Sadly, they've been proven right over time.

At 61, the youth is energetic and talented but not convinced of the future of this country. There are some who still believe in it. And I hope the number does increase overtime. How soon, thats anyones guess.

At 61, Pakistan has opportunities. Tremendous opportunities and a talent that can surpass any standard. But sadly enough we're lacking a clear, steady and honest direction. When will we stop looking at our past, cut making promises of a brighter Pakistan and just for once focus on the present - the here and now?

At 61, Pakistan is braving it all.

Paradox of Our Time

I found this in my Inbox this morning, and it made perfect sense to be uploaded on this site. This makes the most appropriate thought of today - Sp.


Author: Anonymous

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, thro waway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

I choose to share.

Corporate Politik

I'm stunned by the coldness of thought, meaness of purpose and ruthlessness of action. If God created humans, then we ended up creating these so-called 'purpose-driven' execs who see no one but their self-interest. And why not? shouts out someone somewhere. I say, hell why?

The so-called acquired positions you enjoy in high society are but a representation of your merits. Thats what your kind likes to think. In the haste of racing to the top, you know you will step on toes, break a few bones (of others ofcourse), bruise egos all over (except your own), throw your weight around (which tripples with the attitude you carry) and make it to the top with your impecable manners (reserved for public display only), keen eye for board room politics and that winning (read:irriating) smirk that says, "I'm the best that anyone will ever get".

How could have the human race given birth to a hollow soul like that? What purpose does it serve with such an existence?

Recognising or appreciating the one who help themselves is well beneath its standards. It prefers to rub shoulders with its own kind and look down on the rest. It works hard to get what it set out to achieve. In its ambitious state of mind it forgets that the 'end is not the begining but the end in itself', its always been the process that measure one's true worth.

God can be kind to the misguided corporate sometimes. When their path crosses the path of the odder ones out. Yet they fail to take notice. They'll call on you suddenly one fine day to ask you for a favor and no explanations needed for not being in touch for half a decade or even more. Its not needed right, its business. And because it is business you are expected to take the call or write them a note. That's expected professional behavior. Who set it? I don't know. Its contrary to common cortouesy, thats what I'd think and yet I'm compelled to take the call in the name of not harbouring personal prejudice in the line of duty...

Its amazing how lack of self-realisation has not hit a home run on the 'run-down execs'. They've been run down with their own amibtion, in the zeal to out-perform the other through sheer tactic, disregard any other talent/person/exec/life form that comes in to contact with them and yet when they order/request/ask for anything at all your job is to respond ASAP. If you don't you're the non-performing, unprofessional, amateur corporate who got it all wrong.

Its the conflict of a mind set. It all starts from the mind after all and ends up confusing your head and your heart.

So for the faintly hearted understand dealing with the empty-corporate suits is not for you. For the challengers (who've lived on challenging status quos) its an unwilling battle of the wills and witts. Where their sense of purpose drives them to help the empty-corporate suit but their mind tells them to beware and stop dead in their tracks because all of it sounds so familiar. It'll ask for help, hold your hand and when the purpose is achieved its likely to break it. The empty-corporate suit has room for no one else except itself.

Delete is not an option. Move ahead without a guilt of not helping is one. The costs are basic, does it even matter? Is this a chance to build up or break away for good? Above everything else, nature has its ways of unfolding people and events. Perhaps this is one such lesson. An empty-corporate suit is not worth it for the long run!

Shout

Shout when in doubt.
What a blunder your life must be
Overlooking all possibilities that could be.
Shout when in doubt.
Fear of the unknown
will only let you down.

Shout when in doubt.
Nothing really lasts forever.
The good or the worst of times.

Shout when in doubt
You can't breeze through the rough rides
with doubt in your heart and mind.

Shout when in doubt
That's what you can do
to live life loud.

Inflation hits a home run

"M, we're more poor than we were a year ago!"

"How so?"

He hands me over the newspaper carrying a headline that says, 'Pakistan hits record high inflation at 17.6 percent'.

"Hmm, we've set a new record R"

"We're more poor despite our increments, M!".

Sad.

I wondered if both of us were sad on the prospect of being poor or the circumstances that were pushing us towards the edge.

BoL:"I told you to convert your savings in to dollars three months ago"
M.: (I dont know where the time went)
BoL: "You're the MBA here" (he smirks)

and its totally justified.

So while we fish for the Financial Advisor (yet another Banker) to be the Mesiah for the traumatic state of economic affairs, people continue to face food/water shortages and brave the price hikes. They eat less, shop lesser and yet save the least.

Oil crises worsens globally, OGRA announces yet another anticipated hike in fuel prices and the Oil transporters threaten to call a strike because they feel they do not benefit from the rising fuel prices.

A middle-class bread winner is expected to maintain his/her fuel tank, bank account, grocerries, all utility bills cleared and yet be deperived of all the facilities he/she direly pays or saves for. Its a lose-lose situation.

What next for the dipping Rupee is anyone's guess.

The Wonder Years

Hollywood no longer makes stuff about normal people with ordinary lives. Wonder Years remains a cult TV series todate only because it showcased lives of people, anyone can relate too from a 20% to a stunning 100%. Stumbled across a documentary on the movie tonight on TV and realised I could relate to it....only it dawned on me after 15 years or so. Incredible isn't it.


Excerpts from the final season's last episode of The Wonder Years (1988).

"Things never turn out exactly the way you planned. I know they didn't with me. Still, like my father used to say, 'Traffic's traffic, you go where life takes you' and growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next you're gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a time a place, a particular fourth of July, the things that happened in that decade of war and change. I remember a house like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. I remember how hard it was growing up among people and places I loved. Most of all, I remember how hard it was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years I still look back in wonder."

Kevin Arnold (The Narrator)

"All of our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone that makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us."

Kevin Arnold (The Narrator)

"I learned that sometimes growing apart means growing together" -

Kevin Arnold (The Narrator)

"When you're a little kid you're a bit of everything; Scientist, Philosopher, Artist. Sometimes it seems like growing up is giving these things up one at a time. "

Kevin Arnold (The Narrator)

State vs. People

Congratulations, we've chosen a Prime Minister for ourselves. The first democratic Prime Minister in 9 years. A cheerless President swore the new cabinet in, read the deadline of a leading daily newspaper. Surely the President has a few more things to be cheerless about than just a fresh cabinet. A number of cabinet ministers have taken their respective positions for the first time in their political careers.

Inexperienced ministers - can they possible clog the much needed political filtering? Not really. The political turmoils which Pakistan has witnessed since its inception it can withstand inexperienced over the murderers of people's interest.

The formulation and the visible eagerness of political parties to make the coalition work is an encouraging sign. Perhaps the much anticipated light at the end of the tunnel analysts hinted for. At the same time, one cannot help but remember the even the current democrats in power have a 'history' with the misuse of it. From the overseas assets, Swiss Bank accounts, loans worth billions written off and more recently the whitewash of the corruption charges against the so-called 'man-of-the-hour'.

All is not lost. That's something that we knew was coming. But if the office bearers are willing to make a difference, rescue Pakistan out of the economic crisis that it is in, the geographic conflicts that it is submerged in to and stabilise if not grow the economy in 2008, perhaps the people will be willing to get over the grudges.

Too many lives have been lost, too many tires have been burnt, too much destruction has taken place at the cost of pushing the country in scaring foreign investors out of the country. The depleting state of the manufacturing sector is a clear example of where this economy is heading.

New faces, fresh insights and above everything else fair intentions is perhaps the expectation we have from the office bearers. Countdown to 100 days package has already begun. The re-shuffling within the military ranks holding on to the civilian positions was one of the most recent corrective actions taken by the new government. The General must have had to swallow this bitter sweet pill. This leaves us wondering how many bitter sweet pills the General can swallow..till he of course is hit with an overdose.

Perhaps it is likely the thought of an overdose which will make the General re-work his exit strategy. Many critics believe he has none. He is too arrogant and hungry for power to even consider making an exit till he is physically pushed and shoved out of his Presidential suite. I hold a different perspective. And that would perhaps be verified by time itself.

Within the next few weeks, when all the hola around the new government has settled it will be time to evaluate the progress of the state. The people were practically out on the street prior to the election 2008. Slightest error, ignorance, greed on the part of the new regime can have people succumb to violence within minutes. The thought of it only makes us citizens, craving for a peaceful Pakistan, shudder.

The distant truth is that this is the time where the regime must perform. The opportunity has been won by the people for the people. Let not a General or vested interests decide the fate of the country. For once, would the chosen representatives of the People stand up, take responsibility and use the power with sensibility?

Its a refreshing break to see younger PM and a smiling and an eloquent Minister of Information. At the same time, disappointing to see some of the older cronies coming back to the scene to be appointed as "advisers at large" or "ambassadors at large". Could they not be avoided at large given their list of defaults against Pakistan? Perhaps we cannot have the perfect cabinet or the honest politician after all.

The formula for now has to work. Its not about democracy vs. martial law actually. Neither has worked well or done justice to the country. Its state vs. people. Its not about a political system, ideology or which slogan would work. Its about ensuring that we continue to be a free,safe, healthy and happy economy.

Simply put its the State vs. People. The verdict comes after 100 days....

Borderline

You say sit down,
I stand up.
You insist,
I resist.

You watch as I walk in,
I can not cross this line.
Let it be our border line.
The great divide;
My spot, on the other side.
Colder, safer,
Bitter, better.

You say come on in
I fail to give in
You look down when you talk
I cry, "move on".

You drag words
I wish you'd stop.
Interventions, very welcome.
You pause and smile
Still can't meet my eye.
I wonder why?

My chapters were very clear
You tore them out, for sheer fear.
Just so you know
I was not the one who was blind.
I fought the test of time.
You stumbled,
Trapped in your thoughtless lies.

Go ahead, scream denial.
You still fail to meet my eye.
Let's not make this into a trial.
We know its not a crime.
You're free, so am I.

No sooner or no later
You'll see why I tried,
how you failed,
what we made out of our lives.

And you in all your new found Glory,
yes you, with all your Blessed ties,
will not be able to meet my eye.
It'll hound you in the middle of the day
in the smaller things of life.

You will wonder One day
why you could not stare back at the truth, in its eye?
How you should have cried:
"Hang on!"in the roughest tides.

That's OKay,
No sentimental ties.
Being spontaneous with the heart is a folly of the wild.
Have I lost my mind?
I'm standing on the borderline.
Waiting till you see it through my eyes
the story of sentimental ties.

Nevermind for today,
I look up to tomorrow's blue skies.
Not easy surrendering,
But a harbour is found in its own sweet time.

I am giving in to the thought
your failing gaze has narrated a lot.
There will be no meeting of the eyes,
That's OK
Its felt like a life time,
standing on the borderline.

(*) January 17, 2008-10:00pm

The World As I See It

By: Einstein

How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy.

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...

I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me.
The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.

My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude...

My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate that I myself havebeen the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of thismay well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility. But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader. In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality...

The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the political state, but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling.

This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of herd life, the military system, which I abhor... This plague-spot of civilization ought to beabolished with all possible speed. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature.

Transition

I am blocking your thoughts away.
In a sick way I thank you for all that.
I learned to forgive myself, thanks to you
I am in transition.

The skies poured down today
What made us think we were wise and we'd never compromise...
played somewhere in the background
I picked up things I never thought I could.
Made notes on what not to take,
lost them along the way.
I beg your pardon,
I am in transition.

Driving in circles now
Doing things I thought I never would.
It gets clearer. Ironic.
This must be the transition.

Someone is smiling at me.
I don't mind the smiles, the grins, the 'o-dahhling I told you so'
It's the transition stupid!

Learn to smile at me.
I'm already smiling.
Jump on to phase 3, laugh at thyself.

Sad? No, strange really.
Does that make me crazy?
Probably.
Wars of the mind or war of the ego?
Excuse me, I am in transition.

People remember you from how you make them feel
I felt like strange, stupid, lucky, and a little lost.
Wonderful things huh?
Perhaps that is because I'm in transition.

I had much to say,
but chose to walk away.
The odd is better left unsaid.
Will we walk on the same street again?
We're inhabiting separate galaxies.

Made a difference, significantly or hardly?
You understand....I am in transition.
Feelling like an achiever, yeah?
Get on, get up, get over, GO!
I prefer to be excused
I am in transition.

*Feb 9, 2007

Untitled (revisited)

Untitled

I don't know what happened.

But it just did.

I saw a bit of you there, I wanted to capture it, hold it and never let go.

I broke down.

I appolgised.

But he understood.

He is not what he use to be. Its funny what years can do to you. It's actually scary and sad at the same time since it appears that one is only left with oneself in the end.

I saw your shadow today, sitting there and I broke down.We're loosing him you know. When he got up to leave, I didn't want him to go. He sat there, looking around him. His blue eyes are shade of grey now. He knows what is ahead of him, but cries over what has been. He looks around for you. I can sense it. I look around for you too sometimes.

I walk with him as far as I can. But then I know I have to let go. He looks at me and smiles. Reminds me of who I am. It takes gutts to smile at times like these. He sees the empty eyes and talks of a bright future, a city gone mad, and he looks at the white garden chair. We've added a bit of yellow to it now. That's our effort on making it look alive.

He turns around for a final glance.He looks at me and he tells me he looks for you. I smile back. Its crazy, both of us look at eachother and end up finding a bit of you. I break down again and this time I'm not alone.

I know this is possibly our last goodbye.He tells me why I need to be strong ; but I am not listening anymore. I'm absorbing each moment of having your shadow around me just once again.

I know this is our last time.I am taking this thought with me for the weekend. I cherish this possibly as one of the rare encounters of a life time. Let this be our last time.


*The blog was first recorded in Feb 23, 2007 before my flight to Islamabad.

** Shafi Mammoon passed away on March 6, 2008. That February evening proved to be our last time indeed.

Give way to V-day!

That time of the year is BACK.

The good news is its only the local FM radio stations which are making all the noise about Valentine's Day this year. The only publication that went Red with valentine's day discount offers was Sunday ( a weekly socialite magazine from the Daily Times team). Certain that it is widely read in a very small and closed circle of Lahore and a wee bit in Islamabad and an even small freebie circle of Karachi, I thought the marketers had gone underground in 2008.

My happiness was short lived.

Horrid traffic jams in the city, particularly during the election week, have converted my 45 minutes drive from work to home and vice versa to 2 hours long marathon of inching and moving my car between lanes, making sure I do not run over the other. Amid this the FM stations add to the misery with their love songs, free advices on what's IN and OUT this V-day, themes for V-day and so on.

The most interesting tip that I got today was when I was stuck in a jam for an hour during the lunch hour. The RJs added to my limited knowledge on the 'oohs and aahs' of V-day dress code. According to them, wearing certain colors on V-day signify a person's personal status, that includes:

BLACK means not available for a commitment or SCRAM!
RED means committed or LUCKY IN LOVE (grrrr!)
YELLOW means single, ready to mingle!
PINK means committed but also looking (wicked!)
WHITE means desperate for a relationship, anything would do (sad!)

My take, how about a combination of all of these. That'll leave people guessing all day.

A friend captured the V-day quite aptly and I salute her for putting it rightly. It's the pressure that gets many thinking about the V-day not because they feel the need to. Everyone is taken on by the pressure - the committed and the free.

For the committed, the pressure is to present, reassure or reinforce their sentiments.

For the free, it's a reality check. A point where they either say..sigh I wish that was me or weehaa its good to be free. Freedom ought to be celeberated too on Vday. But a lot of us (obviously the committed ones) snicker at such thoughts of the free :-)

I'm not suggesting we bent down to the pressure.

I suggest we make people around us happy this V-day. It can be a friend you have not called up in a long time, some one you stopped talking to altogether, reward friends and family for being by your side, get closer to people you want to get to know and you'll feel content with yourself eventually.

I've learned that everytime I give something I feel the happiest.

It could be a compliment, an insult (haha!), time, surprises (I still love them!), and so on. We will be remembered in the end with what we gave away to people we cared about. Mom, Dad, Sis, Bro, Friend, or that special someone, your Pet, yup the sky is the limit...

My critics could say giving is a way of life. You should do it throughout the year. I'm not contesting that. Let V-day reignite the spirit of giving, sharing and putting a smile on the people you care about. I know I do not get time to spend with people I would really want to. This day, I can take a break (after work ofcourse!) and let it be a gentle reminder throughtout the year. who knows I might carry it on..:-)

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Feel

Feel sad.
Feel soaked.
Feel small.
But not ready to take a fall.

Feel powerless.
Feel preoccupied.
Feel tongue-tied.
But will surf through.

Feel battered
Feel bruised
Feel broken
But don't need mending.

Feel tired
Feel sleepy
Feel energy drop low
But can't stop breathing.

Feel, thats what the heart does best.
Feel, you're free to interpret.
Feel, you're alive!




a new scnenary

I will be a dream tomorrow-Part I

I will be a dream tomorrow,
today I should do what I do best.
Even if I lived a 100 lives,
every life lived will be laid to rest.

I have wandered the streets of time
Making acquanitence with drifters and achievers,
the choosers and the misguided,
loved ones who stood united.

I have looked for content souls
with no regrets of growing old,
loosing life or see their fortunes erode.

Overcoming fear of tomorrow
is what I never aimed for.
Living for the moment
is a feat I ignored.

Wondering and wandering only left me astray.
I have learnt to set my sight for the day.
For no doubt, I will be a dream tomorrow,
Outlived and forgotten in the race of yesterday.

I see it clearly now
I must live my dream today!

Paradigm shift

Myth: Our lives are all about the choices we make.
Reality: Our lives are driven by fate; fate can be altered with Divine intervention

Myth: Judge people, it helps in differtiating your friends from your enemies.
Reality: Judge people, and you live & die alone.

Myth: Forgive and forget.
Reality: Forgive but do not forget; you don't want to make the same mistake twice.